14:42 All stations to Uxbridge
I am writing the last journey home blog for the year and can barely see the screen through the tears. Finished my last meeting this afternoon and as I'm officially supposed to be on my hols have left the office.
The train has 4 passengers on it, each in their own compartments, and I think this is the closest I will ever get to the 'Orient Express' experience...
Even the evening standard is a thin edition today, with today's headline being "police woman held in bribes probe"...errr. She was receiving bribes from journalists (who else!) for insider information.
Then there is an amazing story of a transplant surgeon who gave his own kidney to save his mothers life. Not sure how he took out his own kidney and put it in his mums body, but still very impressive and well done to you.
Today's advert is just the TFL one about 'going shopping this weekend' check for planned tube disruption. Thanks TFL, thanks very much for that.
In other news, Beckham is moving to Paris on a 4m contract, at the age of 37. He will be receiving 800,000 euros after tax a month, which will certainly help with Posh's eating bills...
Oooh, Oooh, Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol is out on Boxing day. And the trailer looks magnificent! That Indian actor is in it too, no not Amitabh, the other one who did Millionaire and Slum Dog and even was the Pakistan President in he last series of 24. You know who I mean right?? Anil Kapoor, that's right. Will deffo be taking dad to that.
There is a Japanese man sitting opposite me with a 'Max Utd' Nike bag.. They must either be a very famous club in Japan, or he's recently been to Wembley Market... He had a huge gash on his forehead, but I was a bit scared to ask him if that was cause by a samurai sword...
Today's thought of the day is "Where would we be without maps?"...
Finally for this year, Preeti rang to say she is leaving me because I keep on telling her rhetorical questions...What does she know?
Right, thats your lot, have a merry Christmas, have lots of Christmas Pasta and have a lovely new year.
Kind regards
A small man called Kawks
Wednesday 21 December 2011
Friday 16 December 2011
16th December 2011 - The Journey Home
17:50 All stations Uxbridge
Well hello there! How are you? Remember me?
Save blog,..
So as you know, it's been a few days since my last blog and it's great to be back. Friday afternoon and the run up to Christmas. Yes boys and girls, spirits are high on the Met line today!
Save blog...
It's actually quiet on the train so either everyone is thinking up their New Years resolutions and what to buy Gran for Christmas or they are knackered after the work office party...
One of the chaps opposite me looks to be from overseas. Years of forensic training, the latest physiological insights tell me this. That and the fact that he has ski glasses on his head and a yellow luggage bag. Neat!
A lady is reading "The girl with the dragon tattoo". Which I believe (saw a poster on a London bus) has been turned into a movie and coming to a harrow cinema near you soon. I hear it's supposed to be very good, but to be honest with you dear blog reader, I have no expertise in chinese tattoos. I opted out after the Indian tattoo semester...
Save blog...
Headlines in the paper today: "Now bus drivers demand £500 for Olympics". Outrageous if you ask me! Where did they get the tickets from in the first place?...
Just did my good deed for the day and let a child have my seat. I demanded £500 for it, but she just stuck her tongue out at me...
2 Indian girls are talking Chav. "Bruv, don't bait me", "don't go there babe, it's critters", and "block my wall...a lie"
Now where did I put those noise reducing headphones...
Just checked out the adverts, but they have all been covered in previous blogs (1-10)
Wembley Park...save blog
Back to the newspaper, and on the next page is details of Britain's most expensive cup of coffee, at £70! They are ingested through an animal called the Luwaks, and excreted out the other end. Mmmm, where can I get a cup...
Just a quick calendar check for you good folks living in Liverpool. There are now only nine more shoplifting days until Christmas...
Just reading the forecast now, and the Met Office have issued an "amber" snow warning...Are they taking the piss?
Finally, I will leave you with today's thought of the day. In 20 years time, the hardest things our kids will have to do will be finding a user name that hasn't already been taken...
Have a fantastic evening, and a lovely sleep,
Kind regards
A small man called Kawks
...save blog
Well hello there! How are you? Remember me?
Save blog,..
So as you know, it's been a few days since my last blog and it's great to be back. Friday afternoon and the run up to Christmas. Yes boys and girls, spirits are high on the Met line today!
Save blog...
It's actually quiet on the train so either everyone is thinking up their New Years resolutions and what to buy Gran for Christmas or they are knackered after the work office party...
One of the chaps opposite me looks to be from overseas. Years of forensic training, the latest physiological insights tell me this. That and the fact that he has ski glasses on his head and a yellow luggage bag. Neat!
A lady is reading "The girl with the dragon tattoo". Which I believe (saw a poster on a London bus) has been turned into a movie and coming to a harrow cinema near you soon. I hear it's supposed to be very good, but to be honest with you dear blog reader, I have no expertise in chinese tattoos. I opted out after the Indian tattoo semester...
Save blog...
Headlines in the paper today: "Now bus drivers demand £500 for Olympics". Outrageous if you ask me! Where did they get the tickets from in the first place?...
Just did my good deed for the day and let a child have my seat. I demanded £500 for it, but she just stuck her tongue out at me...
2 Indian girls are talking Chav. "Bruv, don't bait me", "don't go there babe, it's critters", and "block my wall...a lie"
Now where did I put those noise reducing headphones...
Just checked out the adverts, but they have all been covered in previous blogs (1-10)
Wembley Park...save blog
Back to the newspaper, and on the next page is details of Britain's most expensive cup of coffee, at £70! They are ingested through an animal called the Luwaks, and excreted out the other end. Mmmm, where can I get a cup...
Just a quick calendar check for you good folks living in Liverpool. There are now only nine more shoplifting days until Christmas...
Just reading the forecast now, and the Met Office have issued an "amber" snow warning...Are they taking the piss?
Finally, I will leave you with today's thought of the day. In 20 years time, the hardest things our kids will have to do will be finding a user name that hasn't already been taken...
Have a fantastic evening, and a lovely sleep,
Kind regards
A small man called Kawks
...save blog
Friday 9 December 2011
9th December 2011 - The Journey Home
19:00 semi fast to watford
Yay, it's the weekend and I'm feeling good! Had a nice and busy day and had lots of fun.
On one of the new (rubbish) tubes
So yep, standing as I write this.
Let's check out the Friday revellers!
There is a chap who looks like that president of Iran opposite me. Shadafunajad or whatever his name was. He has an interesting logo on his jacket which says "trepass". Neat, I originally read it as trespass and thought, err don't think so, you have nuclear weapons don't you!
We also have a ponytail man who looks like an artist. Yep, got a beard as well.
I'm wondering if I should suggest to the chap sitting in the "priority" seat to let me sit down now, as surely being 5ft 2 fits into the category of "less able to stand"
The man opposite has been struggling to do the first part of the sudoku puzzle. Might do and help him out in return for his seat.
Thought for the day: "I don't want to talk about it" is girl code for "I'd like to argue about this for a week".
There are no adverts on this tube, just explaining how wonderful the new tubes are. e.g. Easier access, air conditioning blah blah blah. The only thing I do like about them is the bit joining the 2 carriages that moves around like crazy is like a free fun fair ride!
Today's news in the Evening standard: "do not feed pigeons...or you will lose your council home". Wowza, not sure where to start with that one. Let's hear ur punchlines...
Update: nope still not done the first puzzle yet...
So last night, I wrapped the Christmas lights round Rajvi's head while she was asleep last night.You should have seen her face light up when i switched them on this morning...
Ok gang, I wish you the very best for the weekend and have a great sleep,
All the best,
A small man called Kawks
Yay, it's the weekend and I'm feeling good! Had a nice and busy day and had lots of fun.
On one of the new (rubbish) tubes
So yep, standing as I write this.
Let's check out the Friday revellers!
There is a chap who looks like that president of Iran opposite me. Shadafunajad or whatever his name was. He has an interesting logo on his jacket which says "trepass". Neat, I originally read it as trespass and thought, err don't think so, you have nuclear weapons don't you!
We also have a ponytail man who looks like an artist. Yep, got a beard as well.
I'm wondering if I should suggest to the chap sitting in the "priority" seat to let me sit down now, as surely being 5ft 2 fits into the category of "less able to stand"
The man opposite has been struggling to do the first part of the sudoku puzzle. Might do and help him out in return for his seat.
Thought for the day: "I don't want to talk about it" is girl code for "I'd like to argue about this for a week".
There are no adverts on this tube, just explaining how wonderful the new tubes are. e.g. Easier access, air conditioning blah blah blah. The only thing I do like about them is the bit joining the 2 carriages that moves around like crazy is like a free fun fair ride!
Today's news in the Evening standard: "do not feed pigeons...or you will lose your council home". Wowza, not sure where to start with that one. Let's hear ur punchlines...
Update: nope still not done the first puzzle yet...
So last night, I wrapped the Christmas lights round Rajvi's head while she was asleep last night.You should have seen her face light up when i switched them on this morning...
Ok gang, I wish you the very best for the weekend and have a great sleep,
All the best,
A small man called Kawks
Thursday 8 December 2011
8th December 2011 - The Journey home
19:34 semi fast to Watford
Hey gang, remember me? It's been 2 days since my last blogfession! Basically, I've not used the tube for the last couple of days. Missed me huh?
So, the balaclava is out as it rained on the way to the station. Easier than holding a brolley, especially with my height. I always tend to poke the sharp bits into people's bellies, so now opt for a gansta style hat.
Who do we have today?
The lady opposite has been to the library me thinks. 2 books on psychotherapy, one regarding the theory of it and the other on the counselling aspects of it. The lady is of quite large size and I suspect that she just grabbed the first 2 books on section 616.891.401 (library index system) as she must have got out of breath. I should really show her my blogs to see what she makes of me!
What else. Opposite we have an Indian dude with a green cap that not only says Nike, but below also the words McMillian! Either that was nike's surname or he brought it from Wembley market for £1.99...
The chap next to him has a double knotted thick scarf. Must be a scout leader.
No one else in my bit to report on yet.
"500 channels and you still can't find anything to watch" is today's advert. I'm thinking Wowza, Sky has gone a bit OTT with their adult channels if you ask me! It's actually an advert for lovefilm and it's telling me that it learns what you like to view. Errr, no thanks!
Thought for today...Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?...
Headline in today's standard is 'till debt do us part: divorce soars in recession"
Wowza...interesting. I thought getting married was expensive enough. 4 out of 10 don't reach it to their silver anniversary which is shocking and I don't even know how many years is silver! It says people put up with marriage as long as there is enough money....hmmm.
So I went for my 6 monthly checkup yesterday and the bloke holds my 'delicates' and asks me to cough!
He goes, "how do you feel", to which I replied..."like changing my dentist mate"
Boom! At HoH and time to put my hat on and look scary.
Sweet dreams and thanks for coming.
A small man called Kawks
Hey gang, remember me? It's been 2 days since my last blogfession! Basically, I've not used the tube for the last couple of days. Missed me huh?
So, the balaclava is out as it rained on the way to the station. Easier than holding a brolley, especially with my height. I always tend to poke the sharp bits into people's bellies, so now opt for a gansta style hat.
Who do we have today?
The lady opposite has been to the library me thinks. 2 books on psychotherapy, one regarding the theory of it and the other on the counselling aspects of it. The lady is of quite large size and I suspect that she just grabbed the first 2 books on section 616.891.401 (library index system) as she must have got out of breath. I should really show her my blogs to see what she makes of me!
What else. Opposite we have an Indian dude with a green cap that not only says Nike, but below also the words McMillian! Either that was nike's surname or he brought it from Wembley market for £1.99...
The chap next to him has a double knotted thick scarf. Must be a scout leader.
No one else in my bit to report on yet.
"500 channels and you still can't find anything to watch" is today's advert. I'm thinking Wowza, Sky has gone a bit OTT with their adult channels if you ask me! It's actually an advert for lovefilm and it's telling me that it learns what you like to view. Errr, no thanks!
Thought for today...Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?...
Headline in today's standard is 'till debt do us part: divorce soars in recession"
Wowza...interesting. I thought getting married was expensive enough. 4 out of 10 don't reach it to their silver anniversary which is shocking and I don't even know how many years is silver! It says people put up with marriage as long as there is enough money....hmmm.
So I went for my 6 monthly checkup yesterday and the bloke holds my 'delicates' and asks me to cough!
He goes, "how do you feel", to which I replied..."like changing my dentist mate"
Boom! At HoH and time to put my hat on and look scary.
Sweet dreams and thanks for coming.
A small man called Kawks
Monday 5 December 2011
Monday 5th December - The Journey home
20:09 All stations to Uxbridge
Hello there matey pips, hope u are having a fine dinner. Kawks has just begun his journey home and will be with you for pudding.
Late ending due to an afterwork meeting to talk about work/life balance. Not really, very interesting meeting (for the record)...
Ok what do we have around us...
There this bloke with a big moustache and big shiny head wearing this big thick scarf...hang on, that's just a reflection of me in the mirror, let's start again!
The chap opposite looks exactly like an indian version of the bold bloke from Masterchef. If only if I had a spoon on me, I could have asked him to see if he can do an impersonation. (the bit where he takes 'a teaspoon to taste' and it's the size of Mount Everest!
Lots of people getting on at Baker street and a number of those Amazon Kindles in those lovely cases to make it look like they are really reading a book. The lady next to me is really getting into hers, as she is licking her finger before turning each page...neat.
Today's advert is 5p to any mobile network..how much!! Is this other mobile on the moon! Can't be bothered to read any more of it.
Ok time for thought of the day. Isn't it odd that the the human mind doesn't register the the fact that "the" was used twice each time in this sentence?
Funny and educational Blog. Well worth the £1 I hear you say. Why thank you and soon I'll have enough to buy a lottery ticket...
Finchley Road has arrived and nearly in range of a mobile signal so looking forward to the 'whatsapp' telling me off from Preeti for not being home yet.
This one woman (about 6ft, blond hair, Norwegian looking, perfect teeth and diamond blonde blue eyes)...yeah they get quite ugly at this time of night, is standing in the middle of the seats, even though there are empty seats next to her! what is it they say about brains and beauty again?
Before anyone says anything, yes my brain must be quite big!
And with that, she sits down. Hope she wasn't reading this blog! Ok I'll take a moment to pause as I want to give you all the facts and want to confirm they were deep blue rather than bottle blue eyes....
Headline for the day - I'll cut fares by 7% ken pledges. Is he still on that bloody coronation street.
The girl next to me is also on whatsapp talking to someone called Wendy Crawford. No not the model silly, that's Cindy, her sister...
OK nearly home now so just enough time to tell you about my little visit to the Dr over the weekend. I said, "I applied the pile cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction."
"Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.
To which I replied, "On the all stations to Algate".
Boom, that's your lot folks. Have a lovely pudding and a great sleep.
Lots of love,
From a small man called Kawks
Hello there matey pips, hope u are having a fine dinner. Kawks has just begun his journey home and will be with you for pudding.
Late ending due to an afterwork meeting to talk about work/life balance. Not really, very interesting meeting (for the record)...
Ok what do we have around us...
There this bloke with a big moustache and big shiny head wearing this big thick scarf...hang on, that's just a reflection of me in the mirror, let's start again!
The chap opposite looks exactly like an indian version of the bold bloke from Masterchef. If only if I had a spoon on me, I could have asked him to see if he can do an impersonation. (the bit where he takes 'a teaspoon to taste' and it's the size of Mount Everest!
Lots of people getting on at Baker street and a number of those Amazon Kindles in those lovely cases to make it look like they are really reading a book. The lady next to me is really getting into hers, as she is licking her finger before turning each page...neat.
Today's advert is 5p to any mobile network..how much!! Is this other mobile on the moon! Can't be bothered to read any more of it.
Ok time for thought of the day. Isn't it odd that the the human mind doesn't register the the fact that "the" was used twice each time in this sentence?
Funny and educational Blog. Well worth the £1 I hear you say. Why thank you and soon I'll have enough to buy a lottery ticket...
Finchley Road has arrived and nearly in range of a mobile signal so looking forward to the 'whatsapp' telling me off from Preeti for not being home yet.
This one woman (about 6ft, blond hair, Norwegian looking, perfect teeth and diamond blonde blue eyes)...yeah they get quite ugly at this time of night, is standing in the middle of the seats, even though there are empty seats next to her! what is it they say about brains and beauty again?
Before anyone says anything, yes my brain must be quite big!
And with that, she sits down. Hope she wasn't reading this blog! Ok I'll take a moment to pause as I want to give you all the facts and want to confirm they were deep blue rather than bottle blue eyes....
Headline for the day - I'll cut fares by 7% ken pledges. Is he still on that bloody coronation street.
The girl next to me is also on whatsapp talking to someone called Wendy Crawford. No not the model silly, that's Cindy, her sister...
OK nearly home now so just enough time to tell you about my little visit to the Dr over the weekend. I said, "I applied the pile cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction."
"Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.
To which I replied, "On the all stations to Algate".
Boom, that's your lot folks. Have a lovely pudding and a great sleep.
Lots of love,
From a small man called Kawks
Friday 2 December 2011
Friday 2nd December - The Journey Home
18:22 Fast Chesham
Wheyhey! It's Friday and we are feeling good. Du doon, du doon, du doon...
Walking to the station, I've noticed that there is a spring in everyone's step, and I may have been mistaken but some of my fellow commuters even had a smile on their face. Wowza!
So, having been doing this blog for a couple of weeks, I've been asking for feedback as you know and it's been coming in thick and fast! Ive looked at the feedback hard and deep and promise to do more people observation and adverts!
Not sure about this fast Chesham train, it's been 4 mins and it's not even here yet. Keep smiling and bouncing Kawks..happy Friday remember.
In the headlines today, we have Clarkson and the 21,000 people who complained about what he said. Anyone stupid enough to believe that he really called for the execution of striking public sector workers should be taken outside and shot in front of their families.
Less jokes Kawks, more observations pls. Ok looking left and right on the platform and still no train in sight.
There is a chap next to me whose name is Berhaus (that's what it says on his jacket), must be German right?, and he is scratching his chin, looking around and then writing something in his red leather bound note book. He's too tall (ie normal size) for me to read what he wrote and I guess even if I could, I don't understand German...
We has a train taken out of service (yep one of the new ones) so crammed into this one along with the world and his aunty who also decided to hang around on the westbound platform 2.
Yippee...I lift my legs and am automatically swept into the carriage. What? You've not tried that before,...works a treat! There are 25 of us between the bank of seats. Not bad, but my record is 32. A 12% tilt by the people already on board and we could have challenged it! Can you tell I work in Analytics?
One of the prisoners in my carriage (carriage 14, second from the back), is none other than a Margaret Thatcher lookalike. She is wearing pristine white gloves. Nice Margaret, very nice. Where's the snooker tournament?
There are 2 Russian lads next to me who look very happy with themselves. One has a bag inscribed with the words "Naerovo" Must be the equivalent of our Nike I guess...They have some Vodka in a tesco bag too, so that may explain the happiness.
Not much going on with the adverts today, just got Moonpig and Amazon kindle ones. Still that's 10p royalties for me for that little section.
There seem to be some super heroes on today, and challenging me for best super hero title. (I'm Super Lazy, kindly given to me by Preeti and Raj).
So we have Evil Eyebrow reader across the way who is reading today's Evening Standard with his glasses half way up his head! Wow that's Evil...
Indian man two seats down with the imitation NYC baseball cap, can you be a bit more discrete picking your nose and flicking it on the floor please.
Talk about karma, the tube doesn't stop at Vembly so ha! He will probably come back as a wasp in his next life too.
I don't know if there is a convention in town today, but just seen a Will Smith lookalike, and yep he has the same ears as well. Where is Will these days, not seen him in ages. I know that 'I am Leg End (as I called it) was a dog, but would be good to see you again man (as long it's not Men in Black 12)
Man, how long is today's blog..either this journey is well slow or my fingers are super fast today.
Right changing at HOH, so let's leave it there.
Wishing you a lovely sleep
A small man called Super Lazy
Wheyhey! It's Friday and we are feeling good. Du doon, du doon, du doon...
Walking to the station, I've noticed that there is a spring in everyone's step, and I may have been mistaken but some of my fellow commuters even had a smile on their face. Wowza!
So, having been doing this blog for a couple of weeks, I've been asking for feedback as you know and it's been coming in thick and fast! Ive looked at the feedback hard and deep and promise to do more people observation and adverts!
Not sure about this fast Chesham train, it's been 4 mins and it's not even here yet. Keep smiling and bouncing Kawks..happy Friday remember.
In the headlines today, we have Clarkson and the 21,000 people who complained about what he said. Anyone stupid enough to believe that he really called for the execution of striking public sector workers should be taken outside and shot in front of their families.
Less jokes Kawks, more observations pls. Ok looking left and right on the platform and still no train in sight.
There is a chap next to me whose name is Berhaus (that's what it says on his jacket), must be German right?, and he is scratching his chin, looking around and then writing something in his red leather bound note book. He's too tall (ie normal size) for me to read what he wrote and I guess even if I could, I don't understand German...
We has a train taken out of service (yep one of the new ones) so crammed into this one along with the world and his aunty who also decided to hang around on the westbound platform 2.
Yippee...I lift my legs and am automatically swept into the carriage. What? You've not tried that before,...works a treat! There are 25 of us between the bank of seats. Not bad, but my record is 32. A 12% tilt by the people already on board and we could have challenged it! Can you tell I work in Analytics?
One of the prisoners in my carriage (carriage 14, second from the back), is none other than a Margaret Thatcher lookalike. She is wearing pristine white gloves. Nice Margaret, very nice. Where's the snooker tournament?
There are 2 Russian lads next to me who look very happy with themselves. One has a bag inscribed with the words "Naerovo" Must be the equivalent of our Nike I guess...They have some Vodka in a tesco bag too, so that may explain the happiness.
Not much going on with the adverts today, just got Moonpig and Amazon kindle ones. Still that's 10p royalties for me for that little section.
There seem to be some super heroes on today, and challenging me for best super hero title. (I'm Super Lazy, kindly given to me by Preeti and Raj).
So we have Evil Eyebrow reader across the way who is reading today's Evening Standard with his glasses half way up his head! Wow that's Evil...
Indian man two seats down with the imitation NYC baseball cap, can you be a bit more discrete picking your nose and flicking it on the floor please.
Talk about karma, the tube doesn't stop at Vembly so ha! He will probably come back as a wasp in his next life too.
I don't know if there is a convention in town today, but just seen a Will Smith lookalike, and yep he has the same ears as well. Where is Will these days, not seen him in ages. I know that 'I am Leg End (as I called it) was a dog, but would be good to see you again man (as long it's not Men in Black 12)
Man, how long is today's blog..either this journey is well slow or my fingers are super fast today.
Right changing at HOH, so let's leave it there.
Wishing you a lovely sleep
A small man called Super Lazy
Thursday 1 December 2011
1st December 2011 - The Journey Home
18:23 Fast Chesham
Good evening matey pips, how are we all? Who can believe we are in December already! Wowza.
Today I spent most of my day at a conference in Angel. I've never been to Angel before, but having been there, I might sin a little more. Still had a free lunch ( yep mushroom pasta) and a lemon pastry thing. Yum. They had those fancy dan plates with the plastic holder for your drink. My orange juice got a bit stuck in it, so I just tilted the plate when I got thirsty. Classy Kawks, very classy. Luckily I was wearing someone else's badge, so that was ok...
Let's check today's headline. It's saying that the recent budget cuts will particularly hit woman who are set to lose £2bn in the squeeze. Hopefully this means they won't need those massive bags they bring on the tube anymore (yep the ones that squash against my face, and I've been known to fall into them, specially at the bumpy track bit near Vembly Paark.
Also on the front of the paper is a lovely picture of the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate), you were thinking of the one who looks like a horse right? Anyways, she appears to be wearing a massive popadom hat. Don't blame her, some of those official ceremony things do drag on, and one must eat...
Not sure what the plans are for tonight at home, but I'm feeling super lazy. that's basically me being lazy with a cape on.
A lovely lady who looks just like 'Never ate a rotli', you know that woman tennis player who liked the err ladies. Yeah, well she's playing chess on her phone. I guess she's not into ball games...
Quote for the day '"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.'
The only small point I'd like to raise is that this dude must be one hell of a slow eater...
Last bit of news for you, they are banning calculators from primary schools going forward. Woah, that's gonna divide quite a few people.
Right at HOH and need to change trains, it's raining so need to hold up my brolly. So let's leave it there.
For the tape, 19:00 and Kawks has left the blog room.
Have a lovely sleep,
A small man called Kawks
Good evening matey pips, how are we all? Who can believe we are in December already! Wowza.
Today I spent most of my day at a conference in Angel. I've never been to Angel before, but having been there, I might sin a little more. Still had a free lunch ( yep mushroom pasta) and a lemon pastry thing. Yum. They had those fancy dan plates with the plastic holder for your drink. My orange juice got a bit stuck in it, so I just tilted the plate when I got thirsty. Classy Kawks, very classy. Luckily I was wearing someone else's badge, so that was ok...
Let's check today's headline. It's saying that the recent budget cuts will particularly hit woman who are set to lose £2bn in the squeeze. Hopefully this means they won't need those massive bags they bring on the tube anymore (yep the ones that squash against my face, and I've been known to fall into them, specially at the bumpy track bit near Vembly Paark.
Also on the front of the paper is a lovely picture of the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate), you were thinking of the one who looks like a horse right? Anyways, she appears to be wearing a massive popadom hat. Don't blame her, some of those official ceremony things do drag on, and one must eat...
Not sure what the plans are for tonight at home, but I'm feeling super lazy. that's basically me being lazy with a cape on.
A lovely lady who looks just like 'Never ate a rotli', you know that woman tennis player who liked the err ladies. Yeah, well she's playing chess on her phone. I guess she's not into ball games...
Quote for the day '"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.'
The only small point I'd like to raise is that this dude must be one hell of a slow eater...
Last bit of news for you, they are banning calculators from primary schools going forward. Woah, that's gonna divide quite a few people.
Right at HOH and need to change trains, it's raining so need to hold up my brolly. So let's leave it there.
For the tape, 19:00 and Kawks has left the blog room.
Have a lovely sleep,
A small man called Kawks
Wednesday 30 November 2011
Wednesday 30th November - The Journey Home
18:33 Uxbridge (all stations)
Hello there matey pips, how did your day work out for you? Hope you all got your chrimbo shopping done whilst 'working from home' strike day.
Firstly, for Rajvi, before I forget:
You are lub er ly
I am bub er ly
Pull the cork
My dads called Kawks
This was me helping Raj with her homework yesterday where she had to write a poem describing herself as a champagne bottle. I think she was well impressed, speechless, you might say as she just walked away (in admiration of my lyrical powers, I'm sure)
So, I forgot to tell you about an episode that happened last week on the train journey to 'Mad Chester' . Sods law and an hour into the journey coming back, and I'm sitting on the loo (lovely lunch Adam, thank you for the pasta) and the ticket inspector knocks asking to see my ticket! Brilliant, and for some reason he must have thought I was blagging the journey (did he not see that I had my power 'wide stripes' suit on. Anyways I said 'Can't you wait 2 minutes, I'm doing a poo' to which he said 'Sorry sir, I need to see it NOW'.
So as I passed it under the door. I thought it best to explain that the yellow bits must be the sweetcorn from earlier...
Boom and that has taken us all the way to Baker Street!
The driver has played 'there may be pickpockets operating on this train' about 5 times in quick succession....Is this because the Surgeons are on strike today?
I looked around at the passengers and the good news is that everyone was patting their bums, and no one seemed to have lost their behinds so far...
Twice today, I've been on the new (rubbish) met lines where there are 3 seats and the rest have to stand. Really, it's the person I'm leaning on whilst writing this that I feel sorry for...
Wembley Park and one of the 3 seats has emptied so I'll sit down. Hold on, where's my bum! Damn I knew I should have paid more attention to the driver.
Just seen the news that Sunderland have sacked their manager. Wowza. I guess they are just getting into the festive mood by giving the sack to a red cheeked fat man...
Actually there was a group of strikers outside our building this lunchtime, I saw here Rooney,Van Persy and Drogba. Well I think it was Drogba but he was rolling around a bit too much for me to get a good look at him...
Right, 19:14 and Rayners has arrived.
One last time everyone:
You are lub er ly
I am bub er ly
Cheers and a good sleep to you all,
A small man called Kawks
Hello there matey pips, how did your day work out for you? Hope you all got your chrimbo shopping done whilst 'working from home' strike day.
Firstly, for Rajvi, before I forget:
You are lub er ly
I am bub er ly
Pull the cork
My dads called Kawks
This was me helping Raj with her homework yesterday where she had to write a poem describing herself as a champagne bottle. I think she was well impressed, speechless, you might say as she just walked away (in admiration of my lyrical powers, I'm sure)
So, I forgot to tell you about an episode that happened last week on the train journey to 'Mad Chester' . Sods law and an hour into the journey coming back, and I'm sitting on the loo (lovely lunch Adam, thank you for the pasta) and the ticket inspector knocks asking to see my ticket! Brilliant, and for some reason he must have thought I was blagging the journey (did he not see that I had my power 'wide stripes' suit on. Anyways I said 'Can't you wait 2 minutes, I'm doing a poo' to which he said 'Sorry sir, I need to see it NOW'.
So as I passed it under the door. I thought it best to explain that the yellow bits must be the sweetcorn from earlier...
Boom and that has taken us all the way to Baker Street!
The driver has played 'there may be pickpockets operating on this train' about 5 times in quick succession....Is this because the Surgeons are on strike today?
I looked around at the passengers and the good news is that everyone was patting their bums, and no one seemed to have lost their behinds so far...
Twice today, I've been on the new (rubbish) met lines where there are 3 seats and the rest have to stand. Really, it's the person I'm leaning on whilst writing this that I feel sorry for...
Wembley Park and one of the 3 seats has emptied so I'll sit down. Hold on, where's my bum! Damn I knew I should have paid more attention to the driver.
Just seen the news that Sunderland have sacked their manager. Wowza. I guess they are just getting into the festive mood by giving the sack to a red cheeked fat man...
Actually there was a group of strikers outside our building this lunchtime, I saw here Rooney,Van Persy and Drogba. Well I think it was Drogba but he was rolling around a bit too much for me to get a good look at him...
Right, 19:14 and Rayners has arrived.
One last time everyone:
You are lub er ly
I am bub er ly
Cheers and a good sleep to you all,
A small man called Kawks
Tuesday 29 November 2011
Tuesday 29th November - The journey home
18:02 semi fast to Watford
Hey gang, how it's going? Had the usual quandary of whether to get the umbrella out as it was 'spitting' on my way to lovely Farringdon station. Remembered that I didn't actually have any hair so decided to keep the umbrella tucked away in my iPad satchel.
So, looking forward to the strike tomorrow? Loads of people I've spoken to are 'working from home'. Bet Westfield shopping centre is gonna be packed with these 'home workers'. I'm gonna brave it and see how we get on. I don't think they will have the border police at Farringdon, so we should be ok!
Good news to share!! We have 1037 views of the blog so to each and every one of you a big hug (or gentleman handshake) if that's better for ya.
So, who saw that YouTube video of the woman on the tram in Croydon. Wowza! Good to see she has been arrested this morning but the comments on YouTube supporting her behaviour were scary and a reflection of how much more building of bridges we need to do. Well that will keep my Polish friends busy if nothing else...boom!
It turns out the woman wasn't being a racist bigot. She was just reading her Daily Mail out loud to her kid...
No real characters to mention on the tube at the mo, so will report back if this changes at Finchley Road.
Reading the Evening Standard and see that there is a chance of a double dip this year. Not happy about that, and never did think the coleslaw and potato salad combo really works.
My thought for the day - I hate having to explain myself.Don't ask me why...
Wowza, reading that Atos, who employ 80,000 people in 42 countries is going to ban emails as they said 90% of them are a waste of time and want their staff to talk to each other!! Neat...must forward that to everyone at work.
We also have a piece on Facebook floating for $100billion. Wow, that's a lot of likes!
Right gonna hot foot it to the Uxbridge train now. Before I go, just want to say
Happy Birthday Ryan Giggs! I suppose it'll be a quiet affair this year?...
Have a great dinner,
A small man called Kawks
Hey gang, how it's going? Had the usual quandary of whether to get the umbrella out as it was 'spitting' on my way to lovely Farringdon station. Remembered that I didn't actually have any hair so decided to keep the umbrella tucked away in my iPad satchel.
So, looking forward to the strike tomorrow? Loads of people I've spoken to are 'working from home'. Bet Westfield shopping centre is gonna be packed with these 'home workers'. I'm gonna brave it and see how we get on. I don't think they will have the border police at Farringdon, so we should be ok!
Good news to share!! We have 1037 views of the blog so to each and every one of you a big hug (or gentleman handshake) if that's better for ya.
So, who saw that YouTube video of the woman on the tram in Croydon. Wowza! Good to see she has been arrested this morning but the comments on YouTube supporting her behaviour were scary and a reflection of how much more building of bridges we need to do. Well that will keep my Polish friends busy if nothing else...boom!
It turns out the woman wasn't being a racist bigot. She was just reading her Daily Mail out loud to her kid...
No real characters to mention on the tube at the mo, so will report back if this changes at Finchley Road.
Reading the Evening Standard and see that there is a chance of a double dip this year. Not happy about that, and never did think the coleslaw and potato salad combo really works.
My thought for the day - I hate having to explain myself.Don't ask me why...
Wowza, reading that Atos, who employ 80,000 people in 42 countries is going to ban emails as they said 90% of them are a waste of time and want their staff to talk to each other!! Neat...must forward that to everyone at work.
We also have a piece on Facebook floating for $100billion. Wow, that's a lot of likes!
Right gonna hot foot it to the Uxbridge train now. Before I go, just want to say
Happy Birthday Ryan Giggs! I suppose it'll be a quiet affair this year?...
Have a great dinner,
A small man called Kawks
Monday 28 November 2011
Monday 28th November - Journey to work
Yay, it's Monday morning! It's freezing so today marks the official 'wear a stripy sweater to work' day. The train is only 34% full. Maybe everyone's practising for the strike on Wednesday, or they don't possess a stripy sweater.
Let's do advert of the day and get that part over and done with.
Wowza, there is one that starts off 'Are you sitting comfortably?' Interesting me thinks, wonder if the advert is going to transform into a screen and show me a trailer for Happy Feet 2 (in all good cinemas from 2nd Decemburr). Oh no, just read a bit more of the ad, and it's actually for notifying you that you may be one of the 5 million people in the UK who has bladder problems. Damn! Now I feel like going, and there isn't a discarded Nero's coffee cup to be seen!
Everyone is reading the Metro today, some are even just lying it against their chests as a way of getting a few extra layers of warmth. Reading my neighbours copy, there are more details of Janet Devlin being booted out of X Factor last night. As Jimmy Carr tweaked the other day, imagine how good she could be if he didn't have the hiccups! It was good to see the Muppets make a return yesterday, but to be honest with you dear blog reader, the muppets have been on the programme all season!
There is a very annoying woman who has disobeyed rule number 3 of the tube passengers etiquette guide! She has her beep/notification sound on full and it's going off every other second. She looked at me and I've given her the official warning (tut and eyebrows raised high for a sec) so lets see if she behaves herself, otherwise I'm gonna have to pull the bad boy passenger alarm.
Looking around, everyone seems to be wearing a scarf today, so I reckon it's the official start of Winter. The large woman opposite me has a very pale complexion, dark black big eyes and a big massive red scarf. If ever a polar bear tried to escape from London Zoo, this is how it should do it...
A blind man with his guide dog has just got on at Finchley Road. All of a sudden everyone is smiling and looking at the dog! Not sure if it's owner heard the weather forecast today, but I don't think he will be needing those sunglasses.
Seriously, my neighbour recently went blind. It's his family he feels for most...
Boom! We are at Baker Street and this train is terminating so think we will leave it there as I won't be able to type with my gloves on.
Have a beautiful day folks,
A small man called Kawks
Let's do advert of the day and get that part over and done with.
Wowza, there is one that starts off 'Are you sitting comfortably?' Interesting me thinks, wonder if the advert is going to transform into a screen and show me a trailer for Happy Feet 2 (in all good cinemas from 2nd Decemburr). Oh no, just read a bit more of the ad, and it's actually for notifying you that you may be one of the 5 million people in the UK who has bladder problems. Damn! Now I feel like going, and there isn't a discarded Nero's coffee cup to be seen!
Everyone is reading the Metro today, some are even just lying it against their chests as a way of getting a few extra layers of warmth. Reading my neighbours copy, there are more details of Janet Devlin being booted out of X Factor last night. As Jimmy Carr tweaked the other day, imagine how good she could be if he didn't have the hiccups! It was good to see the Muppets make a return yesterday, but to be honest with you dear blog reader, the muppets have been on the programme all season!
There is a very annoying woman who has disobeyed rule number 3 of the tube passengers etiquette guide! She has her beep/notification sound on full and it's going off every other second. She looked at me and I've given her the official warning (tut and eyebrows raised high for a sec) so lets see if she behaves herself, otherwise I'm gonna have to pull the bad boy passenger alarm.
Looking around, everyone seems to be wearing a scarf today, so I reckon it's the official start of Winter. The large woman opposite me has a very pale complexion, dark black big eyes and a big massive red scarf. If ever a polar bear tried to escape from London Zoo, this is how it should do it...
A blind man with his guide dog has just got on at Finchley Road. All of a sudden everyone is smiling and looking at the dog! Not sure if it's owner heard the weather forecast today, but I don't think he will be needing those sunglasses.
Seriously, my neighbour recently went blind. It's his family he feels for most...
Boom! We are at Baker Street and this train is terminating so think we will leave it there as I won't be able to type with my gloves on.
Have a beautiful day folks,
A small man called Kawks
Friday 25 November 2011
Friday 25th November - Journey to work
Morning dear FB reader. It's 08:35am, already an I'm at HOH! I did mean to start writing earlier, but slightly fell asleep. I blame Preeti! Last night she over estimated my ability to eat Pizza, and made 2 large ones. Maybe she thought that I'd actually walked it back from Manchester, rather than taking the wonderful Virgin service. Anyways, after getting through my 2 standard slices, there was quite a lot left...so guess what I was given for breakfast this morning and hence why I feel sleepy..
There were 3 yoofs on the tube (all stations to Algate). In true style they were living up to their reputation. Across the other side, 2 of them decided they required the full width of the seats to themselves, and they both must have had abnormally long legs, because they both had to stretch them out onto the opposite seats. Maybe they are off to Northwick Park Hospital to have them looked at...
The other yoof, who looks very much like Dappy from NDubz is sitting opposite me. He has all the gear including the NYC cap and is doing the 'attitude' face. Being quite knowledgeable about the fashion scene (thanks Raj), I was still taken a little bit by surprise when I read what what it said on his puffed up baseball style jacket. It had a big D on one side, and initially I thought it said Dunce! However, after a quick wipe of my glasses, I reread it and it actually said 'Duffer'! which I thought was equally bad! I was wondering if he had the words 'Dopey Dappy' on the back, but he got off whilst I was typing this so this will forever remain a mystery. He also had a strange combo of Blackberry (Curve 8520) with Apple headphones. Fashion fau par no. 2 me thinks. Look at me, I've turned into Gok Wan today!
Advert choice of the day, Vectone have an offer of unlimited calls to the motherland for £10 a month! that's landlines and mobiles...not bad folks not bad..but I think I will stick with Skype thanks...
We have just had a false alarm from the driver saying he may have to dump us at Baker Street as the train in front is stuck...the drama of it all, and as expected the announcement is followed by each passenger making eye contact with the opposite passenger whilst mouthing 'raster clart'..
Right folks, gonna catch some sleep now so have a beautiful day and look forward to receiving your feedback!
A small man called Kawks
Wednesday 23 November 2011
Wednesday 23rd November - The journey home
Greetings earthlings. Yes, I know I didn't do a blog yesterday, but I think it's good to have that feeling of 'will he do a blog today or not'. As my teacher once said..'Kawks, always leave them wanting more'. Something I have taken on board for 20 years now, though to be honest with you dear blog reader, I did love that dinner lady job, and should have taken them to a tribunal.
Yesterday, I came home a tinsy bit early as I had a BMW to test drive. (M sport 2.2 with additional media pack- since you asked), so has a play with that in the evening. It passed the 'does the seat go high enough for me and Preeti to drive WITHOUT resorting to using a cushion, which it did I'm pleased to say! 8 out of 10 overall but gonna see how the Jag XF test drive lined up for next month goes before deciding.
18:51 and got to Baker Street, for those that wanted a time and location check.
Let's look around...
Opposite we have a 'Baaank Account and Soort code details' man. Apparently he is calling some woman as we speak to say that her Pigeon had left her a huge inheritance, but he just needs to sort out paying the admin fee. Hmmm, lucky person I thought! Why don't I have any rich pets. Note to self, prey extra hard to Goddess of Wealth Laxmi tonight.
Opposite is also a lady/man with a bright orange jacket what says HyVent on the sleeve. Good for you lady/man vent away...oh IT has got off at Finchley Road. Really wasn't sure which gender that was, had a blonde muchi, but as I've learnt from Preeti n her clients, that don't mean nothing...Except perhaps £2 for the magic box for a upper lip wax.
Great news - the train is now a fast Amersham service due to late running. Only bad news for me is that my Sankoni brothers all legged it at Finchley road and there were a couple that I could have commented on...
We are flying along on the Amersham cruise ship and already at Northwick Park, for all the Drs, Nurses, and Students to disembark. Which reminds me...Whoever came up with the phrase, "Better out than in" never suffered with piles...Boom! Good link Kawks, nicely stitched in if I say so myself...
Seriously, there was a bit of a demo going on outside the Westminster Uni or whatever it's called at Northwick Park. They had banners and placards. One of them read:
"What do we want?"
"A cure for dyslexia!"
"When do we want it?"
"Won!"
Boom! The Kawks is on fire tonight, and quite pleased with his efforts.
Right, Rayners has arrived, I wish you a lovely sleep and tomorrows gig will be coming from Manchester, so I may sound a little different.
Lots of Love,
A man called Kawks
Yesterday, I came home a tinsy bit early as I had a BMW to test drive. (M sport 2.2 with additional media pack- since you asked), so has a play with that in the evening. It passed the 'does the seat go high enough for me and Preeti to drive WITHOUT resorting to using a cushion, which it did I'm pleased to say! 8 out of 10 overall but gonna see how the Jag XF test drive lined up for next month goes before deciding.
18:51 and got to Baker Street, for those that wanted a time and location check.
Let's look around...
Opposite we have a 'Baaank Account and Soort code details' man. Apparently he is calling some woman as we speak to say that her Pigeon had left her a huge inheritance, but he just needs to sort out paying the admin fee. Hmmm, lucky person I thought! Why don't I have any rich pets. Note to self, prey extra hard to Goddess of Wealth Laxmi tonight.
Opposite is also a lady/man with a bright orange jacket what says HyVent on the sleeve. Good for you lady/man vent away...oh IT has got off at Finchley Road. Really wasn't sure which gender that was, had a blonde muchi, but as I've learnt from Preeti n her clients, that don't mean nothing...Except perhaps £2 for the magic box for a upper lip wax.
Great news - the train is now a fast Amersham service due to late running. Only bad news for me is that my Sankoni brothers all legged it at Finchley road and there were a couple that I could have commented on...
We are flying along on the Amersham cruise ship and already at Northwick Park, for all the Drs, Nurses, and Students to disembark. Which reminds me...Whoever came up with the phrase, "Better out than in" never suffered with piles...Boom! Good link Kawks, nicely stitched in if I say so myself...
Seriously, there was a bit of a demo going on outside the Westminster Uni or whatever it's called at Northwick Park. They had banners and placards. One of them read:
"What do we want?"
"A cure for dyslexia!"
"When do we want it?"
"Won!"
Boom! The Kawks is on fire tonight, and quite pleased with his efforts.
Right, Rayners has arrived, I wish you a lovely sleep and tomorrows gig will be coming from Manchester, so I may sound a little different.
Lots of Love,
A man called Kawks
Monday 21 November 2011
Monday 21st November - The Journey Home
Wowza, what a night people. We had our Leaders in Society awards and dinner tonight. Got a lovely glass trophy , though not sure where to place the rubix cube on the mantelpiece now...
It's a late one, by blog standards . 9:17pm all stations to Uxbridge, so hope you are all rested and watered.
Had the vegetarian option for dinner (yep mushrooms)...and they were actually ok. Don't tell Preeti though as I never let her order them when we go to restaurants...Taste ok when they are free...
Let's look around...
You are not gonna believe this one bit but in my section of the carriage, there is only one other Indian! I slightly panicked and thought I'd got the hammersmith by mistake, then realised it must be cos its night, and us Indians have to be home by 7pm to watch channel 4 news.
There is a young looking Saddam Hussein opposite me. He's reading the evening standard. I looked at him again, and maybe he's more Borat looking than Saddam.
Just been chatting to Preeti on my way home and she's just let me know that she is leaving me! Just as I reached the Farringdon tunnel, so had to wait till Finchley road to continue.
In that time, I made a list of what could have caused this. I wondered if it was because I rubbed her up the wrong way, or because I'm no longer a spring chicken? When I got to Baker street, I thought maybe it's because I don't bring home all the bacon? As soon as Finchley road arrived, I said "ok dear, don't beat about the bush...give it to me straight! To which she replied she is tired of me always speaking in idioms...
To which I replied "O well, every cloud has a silver lining..."
Wow that was a long one and we are already at Wembley. People must be well into their 3rd bowl of strawberry icecream at Sakoni's by now...
There is a couple sitting across from me and one of them is telling the other that his team member was off work this afternoon as he's lactose intolerance....Personally, I think he's milking it!
Ok, now at HOH, and the bloke opposite has just started a horse walks into a bar.The barman says, "Why the long face joke!
I pretend not to listen but wonder if it's one I've heard before.
He continues "The horse, unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor....
Ok that was different...maybe I'll stick with the earlier train!
Good evening folks, hope you have a lovely sleep.
Regards
A man called Kawks...
It's a late one, by blog standards . 9:17pm all stations to Uxbridge, so hope you are all rested and watered.
Had the vegetarian option for dinner (yep mushrooms)...and they were actually ok. Don't tell Preeti though as I never let her order them when we go to restaurants...Taste ok when they are free...
Let's look around...
You are not gonna believe this one bit but in my section of the carriage, there is only one other Indian! I slightly panicked and thought I'd got the hammersmith by mistake, then realised it must be cos its night, and us Indians have to be home by 7pm to watch channel 4 news.
There is a young looking Saddam Hussein opposite me. He's reading the evening standard. I looked at him again, and maybe he's more Borat looking than Saddam.
Just been chatting to Preeti on my way home and she's just let me know that she is leaving me! Just as I reached the Farringdon tunnel, so had to wait till Finchley road to continue.
In that time, I made a list of what could have caused this. I wondered if it was because I rubbed her up the wrong way, or because I'm no longer a spring chicken? When I got to Baker street, I thought maybe it's because I don't bring home all the bacon? As soon as Finchley road arrived, I said "ok dear, don't beat about the bush...give it to me straight! To which she replied she is tired of me always speaking in idioms...
To which I replied "O well, every cloud has a silver lining..."
Wow that was a long one and we are already at Wembley. People must be well into their 3rd bowl of strawberry icecream at Sakoni's by now...
There is a couple sitting across from me and one of them is telling the other that his team member was off work this afternoon as he's lactose intolerance....Personally, I think he's milking it!
Ok, now at HOH, and the bloke opposite has just started a horse walks into a bar.The barman says, "Why the long face joke!
I pretend not to listen but wonder if it's one I've heard before.
He continues "The horse, unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor....
Ok that was different...maybe I'll stick with the earlier train!
Good evening folks, hope you have a lovely sleep.
Regards
A man called Kawks...
Friday 18 November 2011
Friday - The journey home
19:05 Semi fast to Watford
What can I say, it's been a fun week. Stayed a little later in the office to present to 75 Maltese students, to show them if they too worked hard for 20 yrs, with the right luck, skill and judgment could also write a blog on their way home! I was going to do a joke about eating a packet of their unborn, but thought best not to go there.
Back to the journey...let's look around
Nothing to exciting to report so far, except a Chap whose even smaller than me who is talking about Christianity. Talking to his mate about 'look at it from my point of view'. I'm wondering about kneeling down and saying 'sorry I still don't get it'
Chap next to me is playing FIFA on his iPhone. Looks like Chelsea vs Liverpool. Yep definitely Chelsea, just seen Drogba rolling round on the floor.
On the other side is a dude whose head is even shinier than mine! Thinking of asking him if he uses Pledge or Mr Muscle. Anyways, he looks to be interested in his 'middle east property magazine' so I'll wait till he's put it away.
Just had a random thought, If I was reincarnated as a fish, I'd be gutted...
Baker street and 2 new people to analyse. Shiny suit, stripy shirt. Where's your braces mate...this ain't the central line!
2nd new entrant, I could be friends with. iPhone 4 in the left hand, iPhone 3GS (based on surfing speed), in the right. And big mama Bose headphones on. Can faintly hear the lyrics ' 15 miles from Town, where the faces are mostly brown'... Result!
Just glanced the headline in today's evening standard. 'tax on sleep in city hotels'...and that my friends is why I sleep in the office...
2 old ladies have just got on at 'Vembley Paark'. They are having a discussion about one of them seeing the "Dactar" this morning because of bowel trouble recently'. Nothing like waiting to wait till your with a crowd full of strangers before discussing your personal health I find. Anyway, she is explaining how when then the Dr asked whether she was regular, she smiled and said 7.30am on the dot. Like some others on the tube listening to this fabulous conversation, her friend said, so what's the problem, to which she replied...I don't wake up till o 8.00am
Boom Boom. Right gang, have a truly wonderful weekend, Sirish has told me I'll need an umbrella on Sunday, but hey ho, still lots of time to spend with the people I love.
Best wishes,
A man named Kawks
What can I say, it's been a fun week. Stayed a little later in the office to present to 75 Maltese students, to show them if they too worked hard for 20 yrs, with the right luck, skill and judgment could also write a blog on their way home! I was going to do a joke about eating a packet of their unborn, but thought best not to go there.
Back to the journey...let's look around
Nothing to exciting to report so far, except a Chap whose even smaller than me who is talking about Christianity. Talking to his mate about 'look at it from my point of view'. I'm wondering about kneeling down and saying 'sorry I still don't get it'
Chap next to me is playing FIFA on his iPhone. Looks like Chelsea vs Liverpool. Yep definitely Chelsea, just seen Drogba rolling round on the floor.
On the other side is a dude whose head is even shinier than mine! Thinking of asking him if he uses Pledge or Mr Muscle. Anyways, he looks to be interested in his 'middle east property magazine' so I'll wait till he's put it away.
Just had a random thought, If I was reincarnated as a fish, I'd be gutted...
Baker street and 2 new people to analyse. Shiny suit, stripy shirt. Where's your braces mate...this ain't the central line!
2nd new entrant, I could be friends with. iPhone 4 in the left hand, iPhone 3GS (based on surfing speed), in the right. And big mama Bose headphones on. Can faintly hear the lyrics ' 15 miles from Town, where the faces are mostly brown'... Result!
Just glanced the headline in today's evening standard. 'tax on sleep in city hotels'...and that my friends is why I sleep in the office...
2 old ladies have just got on at 'Vembley Paark'. They are having a discussion about one of them seeing the "Dactar" this morning because of bowel trouble recently'. Nothing like waiting to wait till your with a crowd full of strangers before discussing your personal health I find. Anyway, she is explaining how when then the Dr asked whether she was regular, she smiled and said 7.30am on the dot. Like some others on the tube listening to this fabulous conversation, her friend said, so what's the problem, to which she replied...I don't wake up till o 8.00am
Boom Boom. Right gang, have a truly wonderful weekend, Sirish has told me I'll need an umbrella on Sunday, but hey ho, still lots of time to spend with the people I love.
Best wishes,
A man named Kawks
Thursday 17 November 2011
The journey home
18:18 Ticket to ride on the all stations to Uxbridge.
Ok, what fine specimens do we have tonight.
Indian dude with dotty face, posh satchel and blackberry. Must be a 'Dactor' as my mum would say...
Polish man a couple of seats down, laughing and texting. Must have got a new building contract...
Man opposite me has a tattoo of the symbol 'Om', so not gonna say anything bad about him! His ears could belong to Ganesh himself though...
Lady next to me reading 'the economist'. La de da...
Bloke just got on board with a massive white box with the words 'Brook Taverns'.maybe it's a self build...
As expected, Dactor and economist have left the tube at Baker St to go somewhere posher...
Now we have 2 replacements talking about HMRC policy. Apparently it begs all sorts of questions. Tuned out to be honest. Replacement number one has some lovely yellow teeth, each one seems to be going in different directions, maybe just like the HMRC policies perhaps...
Om is fast asleep.
Today's advert is the 'new Vodafone freebie rewardz'. Yep u heard right, rewardz! Man the way people try and be cool with the kids is butters if you ask me!...
Muslim lady with the kind face has replace brook taverns. Thinking to my self, the black cover thing must have its advantages on a windy night like today.
Man standing up has a 'nortons utilities CD in his pocket. It says it's made in CZ. There you've learnt something. Was thinking of saying he should have gone for AVG Free, but can't turn round enough to see if it's Phil Mitchell impersonator again.
Wembley park. Yep, the train half empties. Watch out Sakonies, they are on their way...
Om got out there as well, so taken his warm seat...
Lady with a gap shirt and virgin bag sits opposite me. And with a Superdry jacket. I think that even Rajvi would have been impressed with that combo...I can hear Lily Allen though her white iPhone headphones. Shame. 2 points deducted...
Entering Harrow on the hill now. How exciting it came in on the Watford platform, even though it's an uxbridge. The excitement..I can hardly type...
No one ever gets off at West Harrow, I reckon they should just covert it to a Pizzahut or something
18:55 and Rayners here we are. Time to sweet talk Preeti into collecting me.
Laters Taters.
A man named Kawks.
Ok, what fine specimens do we have tonight.
Indian dude with dotty face, posh satchel and blackberry. Must be a 'Dactor' as my mum would say...
Polish man a couple of seats down, laughing and texting. Must have got a new building contract...
Man opposite me has a tattoo of the symbol 'Om', so not gonna say anything bad about him! His ears could belong to Ganesh himself though...
Lady next to me reading 'the economist'. La de da...
Bloke just got on board with a massive white box with the words 'Brook Taverns'.maybe it's a self build...
As expected, Dactor and economist have left the tube at Baker St to go somewhere posher...
Now we have 2 replacements talking about HMRC policy. Apparently it begs all sorts of questions. Tuned out to be honest. Replacement number one has some lovely yellow teeth, each one seems to be going in different directions, maybe just like the HMRC policies perhaps...
Om is fast asleep.
Today's advert is the 'new Vodafone freebie rewardz'. Yep u heard right, rewardz! Man the way people try and be cool with the kids is butters if you ask me!...
Muslim lady with the kind face has replace brook taverns. Thinking to my self, the black cover thing must have its advantages on a windy night like today.
Man standing up has a 'nortons utilities CD in his pocket. It says it's made in CZ. There you've learnt something. Was thinking of saying he should have gone for AVG Free, but can't turn round enough to see if it's Phil Mitchell impersonator again.
Wembley park. Yep, the train half empties. Watch out Sakonies, they are on their way...
Om got out there as well, so taken his warm seat...
Lady with a gap shirt and virgin bag sits opposite me. And with a Superdry jacket. I think that even Rajvi would have been impressed with that combo...I can hear Lily Allen though her white iPhone headphones. Shame. 2 points deducted...
Entering Harrow on the hill now. How exciting it came in on the Watford platform, even though it's an uxbridge. The excitement..I can hardly type...
No one ever gets off at West Harrow, I reckon they should just covert it to a Pizzahut or something
18:55 and Rayners here we are. Time to sweet talk Preeti into collecting me.
Laters Taters.
A man named Kawks.
Tuesday 15 November 2011
15th November 2011
6.58am, and it's time to wake up. 'will I need an umbrella' I ask Sirish (my Indian version of iPhones new assistant). As usual, I can't just leave it at that and also have to ask it how heavy a whale is followed by how many rupees is 25000 in pounds.
Damn, it's now 7.03 and I'm running late. Missed the radio 5 live news, and now need to get a move on before Rajvi asks for the electric toothbrush at 7.08. Note to self, Kawks, you are a director now, buy a new toothbrush.
Downstairs, Preeti is packing some eggs in an empty yogurt pot, as you do. This means only one thing..Rajvi's cooking lesson.
Ok, still running late, 20 past 8 and 3.5 mins to catch the algate train. As usual the biggest decision of the day, turn left to go at the front of the train, or walk the 112 steps to the 2nd but last carriage. Decide on the latter, and get a seat. Mr Ponytail is sitting in his usual place, though today he's not sniffing his newspaper. Slightly worried about that, but he's still talking to himself which slightly makes me feel better.
Usual happy people on the tube today. On my right, the dude is deciding what gun to use for the shooting game he's playing on his phone. I'd have gone for the M16, but decide its best not to interrupt him. Across from me, we have two more iPhone dudes. Stripey man with the satchel and NHS style glasses is playing angry birds and lady with the silver broach and Prada glasses is checking up on FB. She is still wearing her poppy. When do you actually take that off. Which reminds me, maybe it's time to remove the plastic red nose from the Lexus now...
Across the other side is a dead ringer for phil from eastenders. Think about doing my Phil impersonation to him, but don't fancy getting beaten up so early in the morning. Anyway don't think it's really him as he's reading the FT.
Angry birds man has fallen asleep, just as well as that last egg was never going to be broken with the trajectory he was using.
Phil has tucked the newspaper behind his back. No Phil, no one saw you do that...
Baker street and some more happy people get on. An Indian lady with a self fulfilment book get on. Not sure if the met line is gonna really help with that...
Just scanning the adverts on the tube, and there's one for holidaying in Egypt. Quite ironic how the strapline says 'where it all begins'! Wonder if tottenham should think about using that one.
Ok poppy lady has gone and no one is rushing to the spare seat. Is everyone on holiday as the train is only half full. That or everyone's got off at Euston for a day trip to the bullring in Brum.
9.04 and we've made it to Kings Cross. 3.5 mins of sleep to go, though potentially 4 depending on whether we have right of way over the circle line train. See they still have the 'come to Diwali in the Square October 16th' poster up, might as well leave it there now as its soon to come round again...
Ok peeps, that's it, we are at Farringdon so have a great day and see you all again soon. Love to Fatima.
Kawks.
Damn, it's now 7.03 and I'm running late. Missed the radio 5 live news, and now need to get a move on before Rajvi asks for the electric toothbrush at 7.08. Note to self, Kawks, you are a director now, buy a new toothbrush.
Downstairs, Preeti is packing some eggs in an empty yogurt pot, as you do. This means only one thing..Rajvi's cooking lesson.
Ok, still running late, 20 past 8 and 3.5 mins to catch the algate train. As usual the biggest decision of the day, turn left to go at the front of the train, or walk the 112 steps to the 2nd but last carriage. Decide on the latter, and get a seat. Mr Ponytail is sitting in his usual place, though today he's not sniffing his newspaper. Slightly worried about that, but he's still talking to himself which slightly makes me feel better.
Usual happy people on the tube today. On my right, the dude is deciding what gun to use for the shooting game he's playing on his phone. I'd have gone for the M16, but decide its best not to interrupt him. Across from me, we have two more iPhone dudes. Stripey man with the satchel and NHS style glasses is playing angry birds and lady with the silver broach and Prada glasses is checking up on FB. She is still wearing her poppy. When do you actually take that off. Which reminds me, maybe it's time to remove the plastic red nose from the Lexus now...
Across the other side is a dead ringer for phil from eastenders. Think about doing my Phil impersonation to him, but don't fancy getting beaten up so early in the morning. Anyway don't think it's really him as he's reading the FT.
Angry birds man has fallen asleep, just as well as that last egg was never going to be broken with the trajectory he was using.
Phil has tucked the newspaper behind his back. No Phil, no one saw you do that...
Baker street and some more happy people get on. An Indian lady with a self fulfilment book get on. Not sure if the met line is gonna really help with that...
Just scanning the adverts on the tube, and there's one for holidaying in Egypt. Quite ironic how the strapline says 'where it all begins'! Wonder if tottenham should think about using that one.
Ok poppy lady has gone and no one is rushing to the spare seat. Is everyone on holiday as the train is only half full. That or everyone's got off at Euston for a day trip to the bullring in Brum.
9.04 and we've made it to Kings Cross. 3.5 mins of sleep to go, though potentially 4 depending on whether we have right of way over the circle line train. See they still have the 'come to Diwali in the Square October 16th' poster up, might as well leave it there now as its soon to come round again...
Ok peeps, that's it, we are at Farringdon so have a great day and see you all again soon. Love to Fatima.
Kawks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)