Monday 30th April - The Journey Home

18:04 Semi fast to Watford

Well hello there. I trust you all had a wonderful wet weekend! It was droughting cats and dogs in Harrow.

So I've discovered a new hobby this weekend which is shooting. Yes from online to the real thing. It was a bit scary to begin but a couple of hours later, I was squinting and holding my breath like a professional. Not sure they were that impressed with that look at Harrow Nightclub though.

The tube is quite busy (112%) but I've managed to get a seat. This 'blog on board' badge I made last night is really working. Don't worry old lady, with this new (rubbish) met line you will hardly notice that you've been standing for 1hr 15 mins.

Today's headline is "Ring of middle sites in Capital". Woah. There will be 6 sites and will be guarding us against a 9/11 attack. Hmm not sure that's money well spent as surely the games will be over by 9/11...It goes onto say that it's Cameron who will decide when to press the button. Woah, let's hope he's not on the loo if it all kicks off..

Thought for the day: Why did controlling one quarter of the world not translate into one quarter of the world having the same shaped plug socket as us?

Goodness gracious me! That's right, they are making a new series of 4 shows due to air in the summer.

Before I go on, did I tell you that my grandfather was a bitter man...He hated any other types of beer.

There is an article about the long queues at Heathrow and the fact that it took 3 hrs for some peeps to get through security. They have brought in reinforcements from manchester to help out so from today there should be 3 desks manned rather than the regular 2. I don't know about you, but do you put on a posh English voice, when it comes to your turn. I know I do...

I'm in the dog house this week. Only took Preeti to Thorpe Park yesterday and we visited the hall of mirrors. "Look love, they've got one of those mirrors that makes you look well fat". To which she replied "that's a normal one"

Let's just say the beans on toast dinner I cooked myself was lovely.

Right, Rayners is in sight, so let's leave it there. Have a great sleep.

A small man called Kawks.

Friday 27th April 2012 - The Journey Home

18:48 All stations to Uxbridge

Whoo hoo, yes folks, your thinking it, I'm thinking it. That's right, it's stopped raining for a bit.

The man next to me is reading Hunger Games (catch the fire). He is 37yrs old according to the facial recognition software I've just used and he is a banker called Dave. Rajvi should be getting her copy today (via Amazon - £3.99), as she has just finished the first one. Before you ask, yep she said the book is better than the film. When was that not the case, apart from Speed 2.

I went to Shoe Lane Library this afternoon to ask if they had any books on Suicide. The librarian refused to give it to me as he said that it's the 5th copy they have brought, as no one bothers to return it. Joke guys! No need to ring the samaritans for me. I'm having the time of my life!

Today's blog is an milestone. Why you ask, and why are the characters so massive. Well that's because I'm typing it on my iPad as both my iPhone and Blackberry are dead. I'm having to be extra careful so no one can read what I'm typing, especially when it's about them!

Had some bad news at work today. Got an email to say that I had failed my fire safety training. The question was 'in the event of a fire, what steps should you take?' Apparently 'bloody big ones' was the wrong answer...

We are at Wembley Park and the tube is 34% full. Everyone looks tired and busy looking into their gadget.

Today's headline is "Terminal Chaos hits Heathrow". Woah, sounds like some evil super hero. It says that the airport was branded "omni-megashambles". Gonna see if I can use that word in some of my meetings going forward. It goes on to say that tennis star, Andy Murray and Alistair Campbell faced lengthy delays. So not all bad then...

They say that one in every seven friends has OCD. It's not me. It's either Albert, Brian, Craig, Dave, Edward or Fred...

So, after work today I decided to have a cheeky orange juice before heading home. Next to me, and to my surprise, there was a clock sat at the bar having a drink. The barman told me that he often comes in to unwind...

Boom! and we are at Rayners. Have a great weekend and a lovely sleep.

A small man called Kawks

Thursday 26th April 2012 - The Journey Home

18:37 Fast Amersham


Hello gang. I'm seeing a few smiles on the train this evening. This means one of three things (can you tell I've been on a presentation skills course).

1. It's coming to the end of the week
2. It's stopped raining
3. People have indigestion

I'm going to start with the sporting headlines today (who says I don't listen to reader feedback).

"Suspended Terry can lift trophy, says UEFA." Hmm, not sure why Bayern Munich would want him joining in their celebration?

The front page headline today is "Police probe London voting fraud". Err.
It talks about the creation of bogus voters in the east end. What! The Queen Vic ain't real?

I don't know why, but I've just had a random thought about Father Christmas (as you do). I'm not sure if you are with me on this one dear blog reader but I've kinda fallen out with him due to his favouritism. I mean why should the rich kids get the best presents from him...

There is one of those world poems in the carriage today. It starts...

A street in Bath, a bus in Medellin
A gesture in Gyeongiu, a yellow f

Damn, must have dosed off there and we are nearly at harrow on the hill...

Thought for the day: Change is a part of life. After all, you can't expect to always have the right amount in cash...

Right, let's leave it there! Have a great sleep.

A small man called Kawks

Wednesday 25th April 2012 - The Journey Home

20:03 All stations to Chesham

Good evening everyone. On my way home after a lovely dinner at Pizza Express (don't tell Preeti).

This could be a short blog as there are no papers and only 23% passengers and it's the new train so no adverts.

Have a great Sle...

No one is talking so I can't even listen in. This tube is running with delays as someone went under the line earlier. I was in shock to be honest with you. I mean it's not even a Monday or Friday...Maybe they got their days mixed up with all this rain.

So this morning, I thought I'd make a buck or two by putting some of my DVD films on EBay. To my horror, I've just been alerted to the fact that 6 people are watching it! Why would they buy it from me now?

Random thought of the day: I bought a mouthwash which says, "24 hour protection". If that is the case, then why the hell do I have to "use it twice daily"?

At work today, everyone was talking about the Chelsea Barca match. Torres goal meant that Chelsea went through on the No-Way goals rule...

We have got to Wembley park and I'm gonna have a nap for a bit.

See you folks tomorrow. Have a great sleep.

A small man called Kawks

Tuesday 24th April 2012 - The Journey Home

17:47 Fast to Chesham

Well hello there. I've been in Buxton all day today and there is some fantastic scenery there. An early start as I left the house at 6:18, but very worthwhile.

Managed to get a seat at Euston, so everything is well with the world.

There are 2 chaps talking about the cost of upkeep for sports cars. Apparently, changing spark plugs on a merc SL is 800 dollars. Nice.

Today's headline is "Murdoch bombshell for Torres". Oooh. He has basically ratted on the PM and culture secretary. Somebody gonna get a hurt...

There is also a story about the ex-yahoo boss settling his $71m divorce. I wonder what he said when it went through. yaho..no sorry it's gone...

The chaps are now talking about what they want to do in 10yrs time and one of them wants to work in a supermarket and "smile at people". Nice, I wonder what they do now...whatever it is, they are using the words "stressed out", quite a lot.

Whose looking forward to tonight? I can't see Chelsea losing to Barcelona tonight. I don't have Sky Sports...

Thought for the day: "Hold your horses" Because even horses need a little love.

Ahem.Right, let's leave it there!

Have a great sleep,

A small man called Kawks

Monday 21st April - The Journey Home

18:18 Fast to Chesham

Good evening. This is the news. Well it would have been if I'd remembered to get the ES. Oh well, will have to fill the blog with people watching and jokes instead.

It's another jammed packed train (142%). I didn't get a seat either this morning so thanks Met Line. My balancing skills are coming along brilliantly. Hey what do you call a Sikh guy who can stand in the carriage without holding onto anything. Damn, should have done the balancing (Balan Singh) joke a bit earlier!

There are 2 ladies talking about Barcelona. Apparently they both love it. Especially the scenery, the food and the buildings. Nice, I've learnt a lot there.

I don't know about you, but I've recently started getting emails from some psychic woman offering her services .If she was that bloody good, she would know i'm not interested...

Yesterday, I thought I would do the romantic/family thing and take Preeti and Rajvi out to see a movie. Not sure they believed me when I said that only Battlefield was showing and I think they secretly loved the aliens, battle scenes, blood and gore. Let's just say they were speechless and I'm still waiting for feedback...

We also went to the garden centre where I did an impulse buy of a garden swing/hammock which looks very cool. The fun part was when we took the big box to the car and realised it wouldn't fit as both Raj and Preeti were with me. In the end I did a swap and left Preeti at the garden centre...

Just overlooking someone reading the paper. "Worlds top restaurant comes to London". Wowza, but I thought Sakonis had been here for a while...

Ok, my page turner is on another page now. Headline is "Olympic organisers have released details of what will be the busiest rail and tube 'hotspots' during the Olympics." Great, that should save the terrorists some time...

Some yoof is tapping away on his IPhone. Let's have a closer look...
"Dnt wanna go bk 2 school 2moz :/" -

Hmm, just wondering if to be honest with him and suggest that he really should...I mean what kind of bad ass spelling is that?

Before I do, let's end it there, just in case I spend the rest of the evening in Northwick park casualty!

Have a great sleep,

A small man called Kawks

Friday 20th April - The Journey Home

18:23 All stations to not sure

Whoo hoo and that's another week of my life that I won't be getting back. It's been a good one and now it's time for a rest. Having said that, I've got some homework to do so that's Saturday sorted.

So where to start? Let's start with Health and Safety! Being very health and safety conscious, This morning I put rock salt all over a huge ice patch in Rocksbourne Park (Harrow). I prevented a lot of people slipping over but, on the down side, I'm now banned from the Ice rink...

This chap opposite me is doing one of those French faces (bottom lip out, arty look) whilst he his looking at his pictures on his fancy dan camera. I know it's a good one as the zoom bit is bigger than the camera.

There is also a chap who has just got on at Euston Station with a steel briefcase and is now reading some sort of Formula 1 magazine. All he needs now is some handcuffs to connect to the briefcase and some sun glasses and he will look like a secret member of the CIA...

An elderly gentlemen (64) has just managed to squeeze in between the other two chaps. Nice, and at least they will all feel warmer...

Someone has just left their half eaten take away on the floor. That's disgusting! I mean mayo rather than ketchup with your chips...

Ooh, just seen that its the London Marathon this weekend. Last year my mates sponsored me to run it backwards. It took me over eight hours to fight my way through the oncoming crowd but eventually I made it to the starting line.

Headline is "spy in the bag". No this isn't the latest fad lunch but the poor spy who was found dead in a holdall.

There is a nice advert about a sale at DFS and a wonderful offer they have JUST this weekend. I've just bought a new coffee table and it's rubbish! I've poured loads of hot water on it but it still tastes like wood...

Looking at the business pages now and good to see that Cadbury's have just donated a giant chocolate bar to the Bank of England. It's a massive boost for the economy...

Ahem..let's leave it there. Wishing you all a lovely sleep!

A small man called Kawks.