18:26 All stations to Uxbridge
Long time, long time people, but yes, felt like doing a little blog today.
It's like nothing has changed! Tube is packed and I'm balancing under someone armpit. Nice...
So, where to start? Probably with the bloke with shit headphones next to me who is playing some clubby type music. Doesn't he know this is the Met line and we only play bhajans?
Apologies for the swear word there folks but I can't stand people that use alternative words to avoid offending others. It gets right on my mammary glands...
Headline today is about the storm in New York. Looks like Christmas has started early there as I can see some trees in the shops. Boom, we are back!
What if that Gangnam Style was actually a giant rain dance and they brought this hurricane on themselves?
Missed me huh...ahhh
There is an advert on the tube about 'the new king of the ereaders' something called Nook! Woah never heard of it, maybe it's been hiding in a cranny?.. Has anyone even seen a cranny?
Had an exciting day at work today and my boss called me into his office and said, "I've noticed you nodding off during team meetings recently. Are you getting enough sleep?""Not really, the meetings are a lot shorter these days..."
Fantastic, the train has now changed destination from Uxbridge to HoH. Great...definitely wearing big coat tomorrow...
There is a bloke opposite who is not amused either. He is rolling his eyes and doing large intakes of breath at hearing this news. Well it's either that or he's about to give birth...
In the paper, there is a story about introducing a £2 toll to drive through the Blackwall Tunnel. Thanks but I'd rather buy a EuroMillions ticket...
Thought for the day: If you think you aren't creative...buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it...
So yes, I know I haven't been doing daily blogs recently but you can blame iplayer. I've been using the journey to watch random bbc programs. Can recommend 'welcome to India'! It's also good for Dragons Den, though I just listen to that so I don't get scared by Theo and that ladyman.
And with that my dear blog reader, I'm out...
Have a great sleep and keep liking those random sad Facebook updates as they are helping show god what a decent person you really are, and we can divert all the research being put into cancer cures and just invest in Facebook likes...
A small man called Kawks
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Thursday 11th October 2012 - The Journey Home
18:31 All stations to Uxbridge
Evening all! Woah, it's a bit wet and I bashed a few people with my brolley on the way to Farringdon station. Man, there knees must be sore...
2 blokes are discussing how rubbish the new guy is. They are using swear words and everything. I'm ticking off the bullshit bingo off the list as we seal and in the last minute we have had 'textbook monkey', 'arse from elbow' and 'don't get me wrong'. Wonder if they can get a full house with 'Some of my best friends are black'...
Man, these guys just need to think outside the box...perhaps some bluesy thinking would help. I may suggest this to them (offline)...
Ok, what else
So last night, a bloke rang me up and said, "We've got Preeti held hostage. £50k or you'll never get her back."I said, "Go on then, I'll take the £50k..."
Boom. Only kidding my dear blog reader...he only offered £45k...
Headline today is that gas prices are going up, even though British Gas made £1.5bn profit in the first 6 months. Woah, that's money for hot air...
Ooh. News to share. I've finally saved enough money to send Rajvi to college. Only on the bus though, not in a taxi...
Today tube advert is "Help Your Self", by keeping your home locked up and your valuables hidden from burglars...damn, that's where I was going wrong...
More words to share from my 2 moaning friends 'plug and play right!'
'Burnt her bridges', and 'its not a vanilla playing field'. I like that last one, gonna try and use that one tomorrow...
"I escalated Tom's email back to Tom. "Woah,that one is just mind games...
This lady in pugg shoes is reading a tiny book which is half the size of my iPhone (5) called Fortress Muslim.
Hmm not sure if it's legit, as she is reading it from front to back...
There is a man who looks to have had a hard day at work, judging by the fact that his head is bending all the way to his knees...
The Jimmy Saville story is still front line news. Here's a thought, Woman around 40 years of age please come forward if Jimmy Savile didn't molest you. It would be much easier that way...
"If we are still doing business analysis, then we are in trouble"...'it's gonna be a piece of piss', 'it's all Bout the long game' and 'I don't want you to have an opinion'
Ahem, well I hope you've leant loads there, all part of the service...
And remember kids, be careful out there, it's not a vanilla playing field...
Have a great sleep
A small man called Kawks
Evening all! Woah, it's a bit wet and I bashed a few people with my brolley on the way to Farringdon station. Man, there knees must be sore...
2 blokes are discussing how rubbish the new guy is. They are using swear words and everything. I'm ticking off the bullshit bingo off the list as we seal and in the last minute we have had 'textbook monkey', 'arse from elbow' and 'don't get me wrong'. Wonder if they can get a full house with 'Some of my best friends are black'...
Man, these guys just need to think outside the box...perhaps some bluesy thinking would help. I may suggest this to them (offline)...
Ok, what else
So last night, a bloke rang me up and said, "We've got Preeti held hostage. £50k or you'll never get her back."I said, "Go on then, I'll take the £50k..."
Boom. Only kidding my dear blog reader...he only offered £45k...
Headline today is that gas prices are going up, even though British Gas made £1.5bn profit in the first 6 months. Woah, that's money for hot air...
Ooh. News to share. I've finally saved enough money to send Rajvi to college. Only on the bus though, not in a taxi...
Today tube advert is "Help Your Self", by keeping your home locked up and your valuables hidden from burglars...damn, that's where I was going wrong...
More words to share from my 2 moaning friends 'plug and play right!'
'Burnt her bridges', and 'its not a vanilla playing field'. I like that last one, gonna try and use that one tomorrow...
"I escalated Tom's email back to Tom. "Woah,that one is just mind games...
This lady in pugg shoes is reading a tiny book which is half the size of my iPhone (5) called Fortress Muslim.
Hmm not sure if it's legit, as she is reading it from front to back...
There is a man who looks to have had a hard day at work, judging by the fact that his head is bending all the way to his knees...
The Jimmy Saville story is still front line news. Here's a thought, Woman around 40 years of age please come forward if Jimmy Savile didn't molest you. It would be much easier that way...
"If we are still doing business analysis, then we are in trouble"...'it's gonna be a piece of piss', 'it's all Bout the long game' and 'I don't want you to have an opinion'
Ahem, well I hope you've leant loads there, all part of the service...
And remember kids, be careful out there, it's not a vanilla playing field...
Have a great sleep
A small man called Kawks
Monday, 8 October 2012
Monday 8th October 2012 - The Journey Home
18:40 All stations to Uxbridge
Well hello there! I trust you all had delightful weekends
So, today I received my new work phone. yes folks a lovely iPhone 5!
Have a great sleep...
What you want more, but I've got a new toy to play with! Oh ok, let's have a look to see what's going on.
Well, I've managed to get a seat, so that's good.
'BBC U turn over Saville sex probe'. Now then now then now then...harram
I was listening to Five Live this morning and there was an interesting debate about people who were unemployed but having large families having their benefit cut, rather than the state supporting them. Hmm not sure about that to be honest with you my dear blog reader. I mean, where are we gonna find the X Factor contestants from now?
What else...
There is a woman opposite me who has a nose the size of a red pepper. I was gonna take a pic, but can't get the camera far back enough. Nice...
Looking in the business section and I see that JJB Sports has gone into liquidation - I guess that leaves Primark with the monopoly on Liverpool fashion then...
That reminds me! Preeti turned to me yesterday and said, 'Honey, look. I haven't worn this in 15 years and it still fits.' I said, 'Errr, It's a scarf...'
The train is heaving today. Mostly with women. Wonder what's going on?
Oh no, just read that the plans for driverless trains for the tube have been ruled out for at least a decade amid fears over jobs and safety. Oh we'll, I'll still be doing this commute for a while longer...
Cheryl's got 3 stars out of 5 for her concert at the O2 by the paper. It talks about how she leaps 20ft during 'Sexy Den a Mutha'. Ok Cheryl we might need to speak about spellcheck at some point.
It says the performance felt a bit limp as there was no band, she sang ok and dancing was slick. Well if you went to listen to her sing, I think my dear MoFo reader you are kinda missing the point...
All the women have left at Wembley Park. wonder if Arsenal ladies are playing or there is some national bake competition. Only kidding ladies, just trying to wind you up...
Ok, I need to practice what I can say to SIRI so lets leave it there!
Have a great iNap.
A small man called Kawks
Well hello there! I trust you all had delightful weekends
So, today I received my new work phone. yes folks a lovely iPhone 5!
Have a great sleep...
What you want more, but I've got a new toy to play with! Oh ok, let's have a look to see what's going on.
Well, I've managed to get a seat, so that's good.
'BBC U turn over Saville sex probe'. Now then now then now then...harram
I was listening to Five Live this morning and there was an interesting debate about people who were unemployed but having large families having their benefit cut, rather than the state supporting them. Hmm not sure about that to be honest with you my dear blog reader. I mean, where are we gonna find the X Factor contestants from now?
What else...
There is a woman opposite me who has a nose the size of a red pepper. I was gonna take a pic, but can't get the camera far back enough. Nice...
Looking in the business section and I see that JJB Sports has gone into liquidation - I guess that leaves Primark with the monopoly on Liverpool fashion then...
That reminds me! Preeti turned to me yesterday and said, 'Honey, look. I haven't worn this in 15 years and it still fits.' I said, 'Errr, It's a scarf...'
The train is heaving today. Mostly with women. Wonder what's going on?
Oh no, just read that the plans for driverless trains for the tube have been ruled out for at least a decade amid fears over jobs and safety. Oh we'll, I'll still be doing this commute for a while longer...
Cheryl's got 3 stars out of 5 for her concert at the O2 by the paper. It talks about how she leaps 20ft during 'Sexy Den a Mutha'. Ok Cheryl we might need to speak about spellcheck at some point.
It says the performance felt a bit limp as there was no band, she sang ok and dancing was slick. Well if you went to listen to her sing, I think my dear MoFo reader you are kinda missing the point...
All the women have left at Wembley Park. wonder if Arsenal ladies are playing or there is some national bake competition. Only kidding ladies, just trying to wind you up...
Ok, I need to practice what I can say to SIRI so lets leave it there!
Have a great iNap.
A small man called Kawks
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
2nd October 2012 - The Journey Home
18:34 Semi Fast to Watford
Hey peeps, I trust you had a lovely day at work today. My nose has dribbled for most of it, but hey ho that's not really cutting it at work. Well Sir Alex Ferguson suggested I use my feet instead...
Ok, done my good deed for the day and let some olds take my seat. So that should be odds on for me to be reincarted as a Brahmin again...
So what's all this news about Jimmie Saville...oh dear...
Fact of the day: Weighing an elephant is just like weighing a human. But on a much bigger scale...
So last night, I could see Preeti had a face on her so I reluctantly asked what was up. "Oh my god!" she said. "You definitely don't want to hear about the day I've had." "Thanks, love," I replied. "I'm off for a bath."...
There is a man with posh headphones next to me. They are proudly displaying that they are model PXC 310. Nice...
You know you are a real geek if you thought, hmm I'll google that and see what make they are...
The dude is obviously into his stuff as he shirt says "Est 1938". And it looks good for something that old. Before you say it, yep he is reading the Guardian (international section) on his IPad 3...
What else...
Woah, there is a story in today's Evening Standard about the reason why Justin Bieber vomited on stage during his concert? Apparently, his earplugs fell out...
Boom...
There is a women to my left reading "fifty shades freed". Err...harram...
On my right is a man who looks be be approximately 29 reading "hunger games"...nice.
I'm peeking at 'the Book' but can't make out any rude bits yet...damn...
A lady opposite seems to have a rather posh bag with MK on it. No people, it's not short for Milton Keynes but some bloke called Michael Kors.. Neat
Right, time to blow my nose so lets leave it there!
Have a great sleep!
A small man called Kawks...
Hey peeps, I trust you had a lovely day at work today. My nose has dribbled for most of it, but hey ho that's not really cutting it at work. Well Sir Alex Ferguson suggested I use my feet instead...
Ok, done my good deed for the day and let some olds take my seat. So that should be odds on for me to be reincarted as a Brahmin again...
So what's all this news about Jimmie Saville...oh dear...
Fact of the day: Weighing an elephant is just like weighing a human. But on a much bigger scale...
So last night, I could see Preeti had a face on her so I reluctantly asked what was up. "Oh my god!" she said. "You definitely don't want to hear about the day I've had." "Thanks, love," I replied. "I'm off for a bath."...
There is a man with posh headphones next to me. They are proudly displaying that they are model PXC 310. Nice...
You know you are a real geek if you thought, hmm I'll google that and see what make they are...
The dude is obviously into his stuff as he shirt says "Est 1938". And it looks good for something that old. Before you say it, yep he is reading the Guardian (international section) on his IPad 3...
What else...
Woah, there is a story in today's Evening Standard about the reason why Justin Bieber vomited on stage during his concert? Apparently, his earplugs fell out...
Boom...
There is a women to my left reading "fifty shades freed". Err...harram...
On my right is a man who looks be be approximately 29 reading "hunger games"...nice.
I'm peeking at 'the Book' but can't make out any rude bits yet...damn...
A lady opposite seems to have a rather posh bag with MK on it. No people, it's not short for Milton Keynes but some bloke called Michael Kors.. Neat
Right, time to blow my nose so lets leave it there!
Have a great sleep!
A small man called Kawks...
Friday, 28 September 2012
Friday 28th September - The Journey Home
18:07 Fast to Chesham
Oh yes, thought it Friday, it's not raining, time to do a blog.
So how are we peeps. Doing fine and dandy I hope. Currently standing and as I saw that today was the last day that the old 'A type' Met line was going to be running, so might as well get used to it...hey ho...
So what's the latest with that Teacher whose run off to France. Lets do some Math. 15 + 30 = 15 to 30yrs...
There is a women reading the paper and as she moves here eyes from left to right, her tongue goes in the opposite direction...neat...
There is couple speaking in French...I'll keep an ear out just in case they mention Math.
"Tonight's £80m jackpot' I can see on the back of the paper. Buy a ticket folks. You never know...you may never need to read this blog ever again!
Hold on folks! News coming in that they have been found! Hurrah. I'm guessing the schoolgirls' "What I did in my holiday" essay is going to be one hell of a read...
Actually I'm not sure what the fuss is about my dear blog reader. When I went to France with school it cost my parents £300...
Loads of people have got off at Finchley Road as next station is HoH. So got a seat...neat
Headline today (now I have a paper) is the sad news of the 7 dead Britons who died in the plane crash in Nepal. Why don't they say 19 dead in Plane crash. Obviously with the exchange rate Britons are worth more...grrr
There is a man/boy who looks like Justin Bieber opposite. He's got a Union Jack man bag and gelled up hair.
Thought for the day: I hate people that stop me and ask for directions. I tell them where to go...
What else...
There is an advert about hair loss, which has the strap line 'it needn't be the end of the line'. Ho ho, my sides are killing me...
There is a punjabi man sitting next to me who has decided to compare 2 front pages of the evening standard as he has noticed that they had slightly different photos, but the same story. Who said this journey wasn't exciting...not sure why I had to tell you he was Punjabi, but in your head your imagining that he wore a big blue turban and had a big beard aren't you...err ok so he did, but next time you may be wrong...
Right there's a pregnant Rastafarian who wants to sit down so let's leave it there...
See you all again at some point an have a great sleep,
Au Revoir
A small homme called Kawks
Oh yes, thought it Friday, it's not raining, time to do a blog.
So how are we peeps. Doing fine and dandy I hope. Currently standing and as I saw that today was the last day that the old 'A type' Met line was going to be running, so might as well get used to it...hey ho...
So what's the latest with that Teacher whose run off to France. Lets do some Math. 15 + 30 = 15 to 30yrs...
There is a women reading the paper and as she moves here eyes from left to right, her tongue goes in the opposite direction...neat...
There is couple speaking in French...I'll keep an ear out just in case they mention Math.
"Tonight's £80m jackpot' I can see on the back of the paper. Buy a ticket folks. You never know...you may never need to read this blog ever again!
Hold on folks! News coming in that they have been found! Hurrah. I'm guessing the schoolgirls' "What I did in my holiday" essay is going to be one hell of a read...
Actually I'm not sure what the fuss is about my dear blog reader. When I went to France with school it cost my parents £300...
Loads of people have got off at Finchley Road as next station is HoH. So got a seat...neat
Headline today (now I have a paper) is the sad news of the 7 dead Britons who died in the plane crash in Nepal. Why don't they say 19 dead in Plane crash. Obviously with the exchange rate Britons are worth more...grrr
There is a man/boy who looks like Justin Bieber opposite. He's got a Union Jack man bag and gelled up hair.
Thought for the day: I hate people that stop me and ask for directions. I tell them where to go...
What else...
There is an advert about hair loss, which has the strap line 'it needn't be the end of the line'. Ho ho, my sides are killing me...
There is a punjabi man sitting next to me who has decided to compare 2 front pages of the evening standard as he has noticed that they had slightly different photos, but the same story. Who said this journey wasn't exciting...not sure why I had to tell you he was Punjabi, but in your head your imagining that he wore a big blue turban and had a big beard aren't you...err ok so he did, but next time you may be wrong...
Right there's a pregnant Rastafarian who wants to sit down so let's leave it there...
See you all again at some point an have a great sleep,
Au Revoir
A small homme called Kawks
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Manchester special 15:00 Euston Station to Manchester.
Well hello there. This is a special blog for the hundreds of fans (three), who have been asking me to sort out the blog. Well seeing as I'm not going anywhere for the next 2hrs 9mins, thought I would scribble some random thoughts and observations.
So, just about getting over my disappointment over the lack of wowza new things ono the iPhone. Think they are really going backwards, and read that they only spend 2% of revenue on innovation, whereas Google spend something like 14%. Samsung is taken more of their market by the day, and seem to have all the features in their phones already.
Err hello..., your talking to the man who brought all the original iPhone and subsequent versions, and all the other apple devices they've brought out. I'm obviously still getting one, and ordered it today through work. 3 year contract, so will have to wait for the iPhone 8, before I refresh again!
The evening standard hadn't come out so I can't tell you what's going on today, and most of this route seems to involve going through a tunnel, so can't get a signal to see what the BBC has to report. Knowing my lovely sense of direction and timing (see Denmark story a while back), wouldn't be surprised if I'd caught the Eurostar to Paris instead and going through Le Channel.
That reminds me, those bloody French, taking pics of our future queen whilst she was nagi. Err harram. Some people are saying we are making mountains out of molehills...discuss...
What else. Started watching random stuff on the new iplayer app, which allows you to download programmes and watch them offline. watched good cop, which is err good, and the new series of dragons den. Now correct me if you disagree blog readers but why the hell do the people ask for 5%, 7% or 10%, when it doesn't matter how good it is, the bloody greedy dragons always want 40%! Then they ask if they would be willing to take 30%, to which the answer is always no. getting boring dragons..,getting boring...
Loved last weeks one, with B from London. "Tell me about your balance sheet" asked Deborah, to which she goes 'Yes, I've seen one of those'..bloody brilliant, should have offered her the money there and then!
What else...
Got a big pow wow meeting to go to in Manchester, and hoping after we have done that we hit the night clubs tonight. And yes, I know the first rule of night club....No trainers...
Just rang Preeti to see what she is up too, She weren't too happy and said she spent the morning washing and polishing my pogo stick. She hates spring cleaning...
There is a women in front of me, talking in Arabic. can't really make out what she is talking about but she keeps using the word 'Facebook' every few seconds. Nice..
There is a lady in her 40's who seems to be chatting up a spanish man who is sitting one seat in front. Nice...They are talking about holidays and Corfu and sorry I've tuned out...
Woah, she has just asked 'is somebody meeting you at the station? Might as well have asked if he had a girlfriend 'toyboy lady'!
We are nearly at Stoke on Trent and my accent is changing, and why are you doing a strange accent as you are reading this?
Toy boy lady is explaining now that she doesn't eat meat, woah, wonder if she is Brahmin?
ok, before I go, bad news to share I'm afraid. Rajvi's pet mouse, Elvis, has accidentally died. He was caught in a trap...
Right, let's leave it there! have a great sleep!
A small man in Manchester called Kawks.
So, just about getting over my disappointment over the lack of wowza new things ono the iPhone. Think they are really going backwards, and read that they only spend 2% of revenue on innovation, whereas Google spend something like 14%. Samsung is taken more of their market by the day, and seem to have all the features in their phones already.
Err hello..., your talking to the man who brought all the original iPhone and subsequent versions, and all the other apple devices they've brought out. I'm obviously still getting one, and ordered it today through work. 3 year contract, so will have to wait for the iPhone 8, before I refresh again!
The evening standard hadn't come out so I can't tell you what's going on today, and most of this route seems to involve going through a tunnel, so can't get a signal to see what the BBC has to report. Knowing my lovely sense of direction and timing (see Denmark story a while back), wouldn't be surprised if I'd caught the Eurostar to Paris instead and going through Le Channel.
That reminds me, those bloody French, taking pics of our future queen whilst she was nagi. Err harram. Some people are saying we are making mountains out of molehills...discuss...
What else. Started watching random stuff on the new iplayer app, which allows you to download programmes and watch them offline. watched good cop, which is err good, and the new series of dragons den. Now correct me if you disagree blog readers but why the hell do the people ask for 5%, 7% or 10%, when it doesn't matter how good it is, the bloody greedy dragons always want 40%! Then they ask if they would be willing to take 30%, to which the answer is always no. getting boring dragons..,getting boring...
Loved last weeks one, with B from London. "Tell me about your balance sheet" asked Deborah, to which she goes 'Yes, I've seen one of those'..bloody brilliant, should have offered her the money there and then!
What else...
Got a big pow wow meeting to go to in Manchester, and hoping after we have done that we hit the night clubs tonight. And yes, I know the first rule of night club....No trainers...
Just rang Preeti to see what she is up too, She weren't too happy and said she spent the morning washing and polishing my pogo stick. She hates spring cleaning...
There is a women in front of me, talking in Arabic. can't really make out what she is talking about but she keeps using the word 'Facebook' every few seconds. Nice..
There is a lady in her 40's who seems to be chatting up a spanish man who is sitting one seat in front. Nice...They are talking about holidays and Corfu and sorry I've tuned out...
Woah, she has just asked 'is somebody meeting you at the station? Might as well have asked if he had a girlfriend 'toyboy lady'!
We are nearly at Stoke on Trent and my accent is changing, and why are you doing a strange accent as you are reading this?
Toy boy lady is explaining now that she doesn't eat meat, woah, wonder if she is Brahmin?
ok, before I go, bad news to share I'm afraid. Rajvi's pet mouse, Elvis, has accidentally died. He was caught in a trap...
Right, let's leave it there! have a great sleep!
A small man in Manchester called Kawks.
Friday, 24 August 2012
Friday 24th August - The Journey Home
17:47 Semi Fast to Watford
Whoo hoo. Let the bank holiday begin. And to add to the joy, it's just started raining.
Still not bad, considering its been a 2 day week for me this week. :-)
So, I hope all your loved ones did ok with their GCSE's yesterday. My neighbours son got straight A's in his italics exam. Which actually cost him the A*
The man opposite is reading some Arabic on his Samsung S2. He is also listening to something using his headphones at the same time. He has a beard. Oh, is that someone I know 6 carriages down. let me get off and see if it is. Hang on, he doesn't have a rucksack so I'll stay put, if if I hear the words 'cousins wedding' or 'virgins' coming from those headphones, I'm gonna move. Sorry, bit un PC there..
Advert of the day: "Please tweet behind the line". Ho ho, very good TFL, I see what you did there...
Ooo Ooo, did some more culling of my iPhone contact list last night and delighted everyone who was German. Now I'm hans free...
There, does that make you feel better Arabic man? Wow, obviously not, as he's got off at Finchley Road. He must have been in a real rush as he's forgotten to take his bag...
So, what can I tell you about my holiday? Las Vegas was amazing. This one night, I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."I shook his hand and said, "Brown, 43".
Ok who else can I insult today?
Headline today is "Harry's minders in probe on Vegas pictures". Not much going on in the world today I guess...
Thought for the day: "Why do shop windows have signs that say 'guide dogs allowed?' Its not like blind people can read it...
Right, let's leave it there! Have a great bank holiday weekend and a lovel sleep.
A small man called Kawks.
Whoo hoo. Let the bank holiday begin. And to add to the joy, it's just started raining.
Still not bad, considering its been a 2 day week for me this week. :-)
So, I hope all your loved ones did ok with their GCSE's yesterday. My neighbours son got straight A's in his italics exam. Which actually cost him the A*
The man opposite is reading some Arabic on his Samsung S2. He is also listening to something using his headphones at the same time. He has a beard. Oh, is that someone I know 6 carriages down. let me get off and see if it is. Hang on, he doesn't have a rucksack so I'll stay put, if if I hear the words 'cousins wedding' or 'virgins' coming from those headphones, I'm gonna move. Sorry, bit un PC there..
Advert of the day: "Please tweet behind the line". Ho ho, very good TFL, I see what you did there...
Ooo Ooo, did some more culling of my iPhone contact list last night and delighted everyone who was German. Now I'm hans free...
There, does that make you feel better Arabic man? Wow, obviously not, as he's got off at Finchley Road. He must have been in a real rush as he's forgotten to take his bag...
So, what can I tell you about my holiday? Las Vegas was amazing. This one night, I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."I shook his hand and said, "Brown, 43".
Ok who else can I insult today?
Headline today is "Harry's minders in probe on Vegas pictures". Not much going on in the world today I guess...
Thought for the day: "Why do shop windows have signs that say 'guide dogs allowed?' Its not like blind people can read it...
Right, let's leave it there! Have a great bank holiday weekend and a lovel sleep.
A small man called Kawks.
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